


we tread lightly

by bisexualgansey



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Asoiaf - Fandom
Genre: M/M, classic!!!!, pretentious hegemonic use of lower case typing, waxing gay poetry about your almost boyfriend, while accepting you're into him but broody mode à la snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualgansey/pseuds/bisexualgansey
Summary: jon has a problem. he can't stop looking at satin's hands.





	we tread lightly

jon couldn't concentrate. he had to, important things were being said but all he could do was stare, his mind frozen. 

satin truly had the loveliest hands. 

they went endlessly, as if cut from the finest stone and exquisite. delicate when they brushed past clutter and objects laying around, so frail when they held heavy things, they occupied jon's mind with a frequency that was starting to worry him. 

satin was only doing what he had to do. He didn't need jon's awkward stares while he cleaned up the room. he was doing so well, quiet and diligent all at once. his presence had come to feel as welcome and soothing as ghost's and jon didn't feel like parting from the effects it had on him. 

it was a reason to look forward to his days, to look forward to the endless meetings and complaints and anxieties of power. so what if he got distracted last week and didn't hear anything sam told him about dragonglass because he was too busy fixating on satin's freckles ? 

how they shone under the touch of the winter sun had felt so captivating, then. 

it kept him awake. all of it. their silent communication, which happened quite a lot as well as the sarcastic smiles satin had on his face, from times to times. jon had never thought irony was an enjoyable form of wit, he had been at the bitter end of it far too many times, from theon. yet, on satin, it felt like something he could share. something he was invited to participate in. 

they laughed about jon's stubbornness as satin chided him to take better care of himself, about the men's contradictory demands, about the way ghost always growled at stannis most obnoxious followers. it was like being at winterfell again, surrounded by robb and arya, free to dream about a future that could be kind to a lord's bastard. 

those days were long gone. distractions, games, friendships were all silly games he couldn't afford. he knew that. he knew. 

there were no improprieties. not ever. but it looked like companionship, it felt like fondness and it was altogether a very, very dangerous way of taking his mind off things. he had to be sensible. 

still. his internal conflict on the matter didn't make satin's hands less lovely to look at, as he fussed over the dust on the mantlepiece, humming faintly to himself. 

there was no shield to his squire, no apparent bastard bred harshness. he was as genuine, as delicate and pristine as the snow that never stopped falling on castle black. 

focus. he had to focus. 

the meeting had gone so fast. thinking about satin usually helped with that. 

"does your lordship require me to light a fire ? it's getting colder."

"it's fine. I'll be fine. don't trouble yourself."

he was answered with a knowing smile. 

"you're going to freeze, your lordship. and I would make a rather pitiful squire if I didn't trouble myself, as you say. I have to make myself useful to you. I want to."

jon smiled at that, turning his attention to the cards on the table facing him, trying his best to ignore the flutters in his chest. 

"I know. I'm glad for it, I'm glad- I'm glad you're here." 

his squire blushed at that, slightly. he bowed and left, on his way to getting the logs for the fire. 

oh, this was so, so wrong.

or was it ?

he wouldn't be breaking his vows this time around. maybe it wouldn't be wrong. maybe it wouldn't feel wrong this time around.

and it's not like he meant to take advantage of satin. he knew what his life had been before, he didn't mean to disrespect him or make him uncomfortable, in any ways. 

satin was his companion. almost his friend.  
he wanted. there was no denying it. 

but he couldn't. he just couldn't.

the door opened in a rush and jon felt a hand upon his own, trembling. 

lovely and ever so cold.

**Author's Note:**

> just some nice wholesome gay shit :•) The title is from a work by Dustin O'Halloran and I was listening to his entire discography when I wrote this so!! it's soooo pretty!!


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